Gradual Changes for a Healthier Life

wellness image

2019 has thrown our family some curve balls.  I’m not going to get into WHAT those are at this moment, but it has prompted my entire family (parents and brother included) to make some changes.  As a whole, we are pretty healthy peeps.  We are all pretty active and decently aware of what is good and what is bad.  For me personally, the past year I have really cleaned up my diet.  And I would say, in the past 3 years, I’ve just made minor changes that have become permanent.  BUT, hey……I know, You know, We all know….there is ALWAYS ROOM to improve.

I’ve always been this weird nutrition researcher nut; any opportunity I can get to put my blue light blocking glasses on and hit up my friend google into a deeper dive, I’m up for the challenge.  Only now days, I have more resources, like podcasts, blogs, audio books and documentaries to supplement my nerdy-ness with.  I’m not a doctor, but I did take nutrition courses my junior and senior year at IUPUI.  I mean, for a hot minute, I thought about being an RD.  But then, you know, I didn’t.  haha.  Regardless, over the past 20 years or so, I’ve always been a sucker for nutrition information and ways to lead a cleaner, healthier and “greener” holistic life.  No, I am not and do not want to be the lady wearing hemp clothes I made myself, while harvesting my own crops and beheading my own chickens, making my own soap and cleaning everything with said said soap.  Sorry, literally, I’m laughing at loud at that last sentence because I think I just described someone I can guarantee you I will never be, unless the zombie apocalypse happens.  In which case, I’m going to MI to live with my friend Andria who knows how to DIY everything out of virtually nothing.  I’m sure we could totally set up a bunker and survive with our families in tow! haha.

I do believe, however, that there are really crappy things in our every day lives that we could clean up a bit to be healthier.  I also believe that gradual changes are everlasting in the long run and that you will feel and look better when you adopt some healthier lifestyle changes.  I completely 100% believe that beyond genetic factors, our environment, and the foods we choose can play a big role in making us sick.  On the flip side, knowing that, we can do things to prevent those diseases sometimes by taking extra time to care for ourselves and our families.

Here are some simple swaps for a healthier life:

Household:

Laundry Detergent:  Swap out the Tide for Seventh Generation or Honest Co laundry detergent.  The “fragrance” in traditional laundry detergents are horrible to put on our bodies.  Anything that breaks my kiddos’ skin out immediately when they come in contact with it, is something I don’t want in our home.

seventh generation products

Dishwasher Detergent: Swap whatever powder or liquid you use for the lemon Seventh Generation liquid dishwasher detergent.  It smells great and doesn’t have all the chemicals!

Dryer Sheets:  Instead of chemical filled Bounce or Downy sheets, I use Method organic sheets (I buy them at Target).  You can also buy wool balls and put lavender essential oils on them and toss them in the dryer.

Home Fragrance:  DO NOT USE PLUG INS!!!  Swap them out (yes, even the Bath and Body Works plug ins) for organic candles and/or a diffuser and some high quality essential oils.  It’s hard, I get it.  I love the B&BW plug ins….especially in the summer time.  But really, they are just emitting chemicals we don’t need in our body.  My favorite thing to do in the summer now is to diffuse tangerine and lemon in my diffuser.  You can grab a diffuser on Amazon for 20.00 and they last forever!  There are several Etsy shops that carry natural candles as well, and the bonus is that you are supporting a local business!

Cleaning Products:  I mean, most of these are horrific and I think most of us know the chemicals in them are horrible for us to breathe in.  I’m not an expert, but I was brought up with my parents using white vinegar to clean most things; which made me want to use natural cleaning products for the most part.  In fact, before my OCD diagnosis in 2014, I never even used Lysol or bleach products, because I was scared of Brayden breathing them in.  Since then, I’ll admit, I’ve used Lysol more than I should and bleach bathroom cleaning products more than I care to own up to.  But, little by little, I’m going back to my old ways of using natural products when I can.  I mean, life happens and people get sick, so I don’t think it’s bad to have a can of Lysol or strong cleaning products on hand for that situation.  But, for the regular routine, I’m switching to more naturally derived products.  My favorites are Honest Co surface cleaner and Seventh Generation bathroom cleaner, along with good ol vinegar.

Outside:  Please don’t use Round Up or like products to kill weeds and “treat” your lawn.  The end.

 

Foods:

Meats:  Limit red meat.  No, I did NOT say exclude it.  Just limit it.

Also, beef should be organic, pasture raised, not just grass fed.  Grass fed can actually mean a plethora of things.  Google it.

Turkey and chicken should be organic and free range, cage free.  Local is even better if you have access to it, but just because it’s local doesn’t mean it’s not pumped full of antibiotics, so make sure it’s all the things listed above as well.

PS–just as a side note for ya…organic bison is actually really really good.  Keep it in mind when shopping next time for your red meat fix.

Dairy:  Keep it organic.  Local organic if possible.  Yes, milk delivery still exists in some places.  It’s really important to keep meats and dairy organic because of all the growth hormones, grains and antibiotics that are fed and injected into animals.  I know so many farmers and have picked their brains (would you expect anything less?) and they swear up and down the reasons for doing what they do (as far as raising beef and chickens), but I know there’s a cleaner way.  I mean, most of us have seen it and know it IS possible.  Is it traditional?  No.  Is it possible?  YES!  All I can suggest is to keep asking around.  I think if you are local, you can order from Tyner Pond in the Fortville/McCordsville area and they deliver for free!

Tyner Pond info

Fruits and Veggies:  My thought on these are to make sure to buy organic if it’s grown in the ground.  Potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots, root veggies etc.  I personally do not buy potatoes of any kind at our house…which is totally a personal choice.  Starchy carbs…not a fan.  But, that’s for another day and another post.  Also, I like to buy organic for all of our berries, lettuces, and apples.  Oranges, bananas, peaches, lemons, limes, pineapple, tomatoes, green beans, zucchini and avocados I usually buy non organic.  I mean, I probably should be buying organic peaches, but I don’t buy them often and when I do, it’s usually at a local orchard, so I just wash them with a natural fruit and veggie cleaner really good before I peel them and eat them.  As far as canned fruits and veggies go, I buy organic because of the coating on the insides of the cans.  I just always have, and always will.  As far as frozen fruits and veggies…I usually just buy organic green beans, corn, spinach, and berries.  I dont really buy a ton of frozen fruit and veggies only occasionally since I really prefer fresh.

 

Beauty/Hygiene Products: 

If you use nothing else organic on your body, USE ORGANIC DEODORANT!!!!!  Especially if you are a woman.  Think about it.  It’s literally right next to your boob.  With breast cancer as popular as it is in this world today, why would you not use something as natural and organic next to that area of your body, knowing it soaks into your skin/bloodstream.  My favorite brand (and I’ve tried about 5 kinds) is called Native.  I can work out, I can be outside all day….I can do all the things with it on.  I love it.

We also have always and will always use organic body wash/shampoo/conditioner.  I use Honest Company body wash/shampoo for the kids.  Yes, even my almost 11 year old uses lavender or orange vanilla body wash/shampoo, because, well, those are basically the only scents they have right now haha.  If Honest is not available, I will pick up Burt Bees.  I just have never, ever even thought about buying the boys something that’s not naturally derived.  I also use the Honest Co lavender body wash myself.  When it comes to shampoo and conditioner, I will use paraben and sulfate free brands.  Not organic, but much better than “the usual”.  Some of my favorites have been Living Proof and certain types of Biolage.  I also use some Alterna Caviar products as well.  I’ve been eyeing a new brand called Navy that I may try out soon, since their finishing spray looks like a life changer!

honest co products

When it comes to sunscreen, I will use 2 brands.  I use Rodan & Fields on myself because it does not contain the ingredient oxybenzone, which is very harmful because it’s a hormone interrupter, or vitamin A (while good for skincare, very bad for sunscreen).  While not a “natural” product, R&F sunscreen proves year after year to provide excellent coverage and protection.  The kids use Kiss My Face natural sunscreen.  It may seem strange, but there are some REALLY bad chemicals in sunscreen.  Not just bad for us, but actually bad for the ocean and little critters in the ocean.  I say no thanks to putting anything on my body that could not only harm me, but also the fish swimming around me in the ocean.  How crazy is that?  Just remember, oxybenzone.  Stay away from it.

Skincare.  I know what you’re thinking…how can you publish a post on using natural and organic items and sell a non-natural skincare line as a side hustle.  Welp kids, because it’s really super simple, Rodan & Fields Unblemish is THE ONLY PRODUCT that has worked for my acne and cleared my skin up and I’m forever grateful to those 2 superior Dermatologists that created the entire Rodan & Fields product line (there’s actually 4 main types of regimens and several other types of amazing products, I just use the acne regimen called Unblemish, for those who aren’t familiar).  Here’s the thing, I’ve looked at the ingredients in Unblemish and several other R&F products I use.  The Unblemish does not contain parabens or some of the other harmful products out there that are commonly found in most brands on store shelves.  R&F also does NOT test on animals and is considered safe by dermatologists in the USA, Canada and Australia where we have expanded our line thus far.  (PS…we are expanding to another country very soon…lips are sealed right now though).  Also, as a side note, this will probably come as no surprise, but other countries are a lot more strict on the products they use than the US…unfortunately.

The bottom line is this….while I do not owe anyone an explanation for this, I choose to explain, because I want people to know it’s very important to do your own research.  I look at it like I had spent so much time and money on natural and organic lines that didn’t work on my acne or skin tone at all.  So if I use a brand of skincare that works, and yet doesn’t contain a lot of the harmful chemicals listed out there, I’m winning; whether it says natural or organic on the label or not.  And also, have you read all of the above that I am doing, and am using organic for?  As for the kids, they don’t use a separate skincare line yet.  The Honest Co body wash/shampoo works great for their little faces right now.

Makeup: I’m a big Tarte Cosmetics user.  I love their eye shadow so much, their eyeliner and Shape Tape are also a few faves.  I think Tarte may be a cleaner option, though not 100% natural by any means.  I actually want to try some eye shadow palettes from Beauty Counter though, as I think they seem pretty clean.  I think cosmetics are kind of hit and miss.  Some of the products in a line can be “safer” than others.  Again, I think it’s important to do your own research.  Don’t be fooled by words like “bare” and “clay” and “naturals” or “minerals”.  While these are all words we may associate with nature and association with nature may be “clean” and “natural”, it’s just simply not true.  Watch out for ingredients like talc.  Talc used to be very popular back in the day, but it’s very dangerous to our body.  PS, don’t use baby powder that lists talc as an ingredient either.  I think it comes down to what you feel comfortable with using because there will be probably more bad than good when it comes to cosmetics.

 

Misc Items: 

Sheets contain high levels of formaldehyde….did ya know that?  So I try to shop for organic bedding as much as possible.  Also, think about next time you have to spray for bugs outside.  I mean, I feel ya sis, I don’t want a spider infestation or bees swarming me when I walk outside either, but just do some research and see if there’s a “cleaner” way to get rid of them.

 

There ya go, friends.  Those are the main items I choose to swap for (hopefully) a cleaner, healthier lifestyle for our family.

I’m no chemist.  I can’t tell you why harmful ingredients are harmful and so common with certainty.  But, I can tell you what I’ve researched and what I’ve learned along the way; and I can also say with some certainty that no one is going to be perfect and sometimes you just have to do the best you can.  You notice that I used the word gradual in the title of this post, and there’s a reason.  If this all seems overwhelming to you, just try to change 2 things a month.  These are pretty easy changes, but they do take time to incorporate and probably a little more money.  Cheaper than doctor’s visits though! 🙂

I hope you found this helpful!  If you make different swaps, comment and let me know!  I would love to hear from you.

Have a great day, all!

xoxox

Mary

 

 

 

 

 

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My Favorite Books

I’m starting this post with an asterisk.  It’s never good when a post starts with an asterisk, right?  But, I’m starting it that way because although I love to read and learn new things from books, I don’t have a lot of “extra” time and I don’t really dig listening to books on Audible.  I like to have an actual book in my hand to read.

*When I say I don’t have a lot of time, I mean that.  I work over 40 hours a week away from home, have 2 kids, work a side hustle with Rodan & Fields, try to schedule blog posts (I promise I really do), spend time on starting my own personal growth/development journey, have a 10 year old in travel sports, have a very needy (although also very cute) 5 year old in tee ball and try to keep up with a house, a 7 month old puppy and occasionally laundry.  On a good week, I can get a walk or two in on the treadmill.

So, without further ado….my FAVORITE books that I continuously come back to, year after year.

Reshaping It All, by Candace Cameron Bure.  This book is G-O-L-D!  She wrote this book back in 2010 or 2011 I believe, when she was starting to come back into the spotlight, and I’m telling you; it’s relatable, down to earth, HONEST and something every woman and mother needs to read.  It’s no secret that Candace is, and always has been one of my favorite people in the celebrity world.  I love many of her books, but there was something about this one that clicked with me instantly.  I refer to it all the time, 8 years later!  It contains ways to mindfully eat, a handful of very simple recipes, scriptures related to each chapter’s subject and even touches on getting back into a workout routine and getting your mind back to what’s important.  Go get it or download it!

The Happiness Project, by Gretchen Rubin.  I was reading Self Magazine one day in 2011 while eating breakfast (side note: this only happened because we only had 1 kiddo at the time, obviously haha) and saw the suggestion for this book.  At the time, I wanted to read something new and different, and what’s better than a book called with this title?  Right?  I walked myself into Barnes and Noble and bought it a few days later.  We were living with my parents at the time while our home was being built and the only piece of workout equipment they had was a stationary bike.  So I took the book with me every night while I was on the bike.  I was hooked.  What an amazing book!  And, at the same time, my workout went from 30 minutes to 60 minutes because I literally couldn’t put the book down.  The idea that every month Gretchen implemented something that sparked happiness in herself and in others made me happy as well.  The notion that if you just change things up, start some new habits that are good for your soul and change your perspective on every day occurrences was a little mind blowing to me.  It made me think about what my habits were at the time and how I could change them ever so slightly to become a happier person, and/or make someone else happy.  It’s a book I’ll never forget or get rid of.  Every time I even see it in my book collection I think of happy times.

The Frugalista Files, by Natalie McNeal.  I can’t even remember how this book fell into my lap.  Maybe another magazine suggestion?  Maybe my friend suggested it?  Regardless, it was funny, insightful and enlightening!  Ironically, I remember reading this book while watching the Royal Wedding (William and Kate)…so I mean, basically this concept sums up my life, haha.  As I’m reading a book on how to save money and how this amazing woman paid off over 30,000 in debt, I’m watching a million dollar wedding and getting googly eyes over Princess Diana’s massive diamond ring on Kate’s finger.  All joking aside, this book was awesome!  Natalie, the author, is so funny and honest and gives realistic goals and tips for cutting back on expenses, while being a woman in the workplace that still has a great social life.  It was a fun read and would be good for anyone looking to change up some of their financial habits. Check Natalie and her hilariousness out!

Do you guys notice the word habit keeps coming up?  It amazes me, that even in 2011, changing habits was something I was not knowingly gravitating to.  Habits are obviously the HARDEST thing in our lives to change.  You don’t even realize how hard it is to change them until you try to be consistent to make a change.  Now that I’m slowly stepping into the personal growth/development world, I’m realizing how naive I was before, when I THOUGHT I had good habits.  Friends, let me just tell you, I have a looooooong way to go.  Sorry for the side step from the book reviews, but it’s amazing to me that even 8 years ago…personal development was there, under the surface, screaming to be heard.

Girl Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis.  If you haven’t heard of this book, you are living under a rock.  If you haven’t read this book, you are missing out.  So listen, sometimes we search for something to grasp when we go through hard times.  I was doing this last spring/summer when panic disorder was ruling my life at the time and my anxiety was spiraling out of control.  I was desperately looking for something and someone to relate to.  I would google anxiety help and all kinds of crazy stuff would come up, I would search and search for books on anxiety and OCD and panic disorder and only clinical type books would come up, no matter how I tried to search.  Then, deep, dark in the rabbit hole I had gone down in, I came across someone recommending this book.  Here’s the thing, this book is NOT a book on how to help anxiety.  I think it was more like a red blinking light sent to me from God that I needed to do a deeper dive into the world of all things Rachel Hollis.  When I did this, I found her podcast called Rise.  I had never listened to a podcast and didn’t even know how to work the podcasts on my iPhone.  I came across her podcast from April of 2018 about how she dealt with her debilitating anxiety.  I felt like the world sat still for just a minute….I had FINALLY found someone I could relate to, someone my age, that was a mom, that had been an event planner, that wanted to work, but had bigger plans no matter the struggle with anxiety and that was honest about her successes and failures.  Are our reasons for anxiety the same?  Somewhat.  But, I took the TOOLS in that podcast and in the book that I found and applied them in my day to day life.  Game-changer.  As I mentioned above, the book is not about how to deal with anxiety, but if you are struggling with anxiety and know the red flags associated, then you will find the tools in the book.

This book is about lies we tell ourselves as women, moms, sisters, daughters, co-workers etc. that we have started to believe.  This book is about ENCOURAGING you to live the life God created you for.  Will it happen overnight?  Heck no….God wants us to work for what we want, ya know.  It’s about using our gifts God blessed us with, to their greatest potential.  It talks about getting out of your own way and not caring so much about what people may think of your goals!  It opened up a lot of doors for me; for example, I felt led to talk about my anxiety struggle and knew so many others around me dealt with similar issues, but I just didn’t know how to display it.  Now I use my blog, yep…this little sucker here, to be completely 100% honest about my anxiety battles.  Do you know what that did?  It, in turn, helped other people, which in turn, helped me feel better, helping others.  Then I thought, as silly as it sounds, I’ve always wanted my own platform, and it’s giving me one…albeit a very small one right now, but it’s something.  It encouraged me to keep going, through the panic, through the OCD, through the anxiety and get my story out there.  I have no idea where all of this will lead, but I know where I would ultimately LIKE for it to lead….anxiety and all.  So, stay tuned and please please please, go get this book and subscribe to the Rise podcast!!!

The 5 Second Rule, by Mel Robbins.  I’ll be honest, this was another find on my quest for all things anxiety help last summer.  I didn’t find out about this book until last fall when I had come across something of Mel’s on You Tube.  I, again, like many times, fell down the rabbit hole of listening to her Ted Talk on the 5 Second Rule, then going on to listen to her give interviews with several personal growth gurus and before I knew it, I was following her on social, subscribed to her You Tube channel, ordering her book and listening to her morning coffee talks.  The book is not all about how to get past anxiety.  It’s about learning how to change your brain’s thoughts.  We can retrain our brain, ya know?  It’s about developing habits and staying consistent and doing them anyway even when you don’t.  You hate working out, welp, 5-4-3-2-1- DO IT ANYWAY.  You can apply this teaching to basically any situation in life.  It takes work.  Don’t let the simple concept fool you…because trust me, I’m still working on it.  I have a long way to go before my brain adjusts to accept different thought.  Here’s something to take away though, Mel is one smart woman.  She is a lawyer and is one of the most sought after speakers in North America.  All of her research is backed by science, generally from Harvard or Yale studies and she is hilarious!  Also, she’s a busy mom with an even busier life that still manages to be present and open to new thoughts and ideas.  And yes, she’s an anxiety sufferer as well, but has self taught her way around it.  It’s a great read guys, you should definitely check it out!

Well, there ya have it!  My top reads!  I really hope you will hit up your local library or Target, or hop on Amazon to give these books some love.  I have several others that I have read that are definitely some awesome reads, so I may include them next time.  As you can see, I’m not a big fiction reader.  I really don’t have an answer for why that is.  Maybe because what little time I can devote to reading, I want to read about ways to make my life the best it can be?  That sounds right.

(Side note: I’m 100% positive that Rachel Hollis’ new book Girl, Stop Apologizing will be on the next list, but I just haven’t finished it yet.)

I hope you all have a great day and if you have read any of these books, drop me a note and let me know what you thought of them!!

xoxox

Mary

Anxiety Series, Post #3: Things That Help Me (Coping Strategies)

**I am not a doctor and do not have the skills to tell someone what medications or supplements/hormones to take**  (Like you didn’t already know….but just in case haha)

As many of you know all too well, having anxiety certainly is a rough road.  Some days are rougher than others.  I think once you accept that you have really bad anxiety, you can focus on what a plan of attack would look like. Though I’ve had anxiety since 4th grade that has progressively gotten worse over the years and turned into OCD and panic disorder (read the whole story HERE), it wasn’t until this year that I really accepted that I had some pretty bad anxiety and only I could take control of it.  Yes, the past couple years, I would tell people that I had OCD/anxiety in hopes they would listen.  I would try my hardest to tell people I had these things and felt these feelings and how they negatively impacted my life, because I so badly wanted people to understand what I was going through.

What I realized this year, was that I was going about it the wrong way.  I have truly accepted I have these things; these panic episodes, the contamination OCD, the general anxiety….but I have not truly pushed through to find and share my voice, my opinion and my story.  The fact is, there’s literally NOTHING to feel bad about, and I shouldn’t feel like I have to get acceptance from others or be ashamed of anything.  Anxiety is all around us.  It affects so many people, on different levels, every second of the day.  This realization of knowing and sharing my own story has actually become a blessing to me, how crazy is that? To be able to talk about these things feels so refreshing.  To share what has worked for me, to share my struggles and to receive the feedback from all of you, has made me so happy.  I feel like I get to use the TEENY TINY platform that I do have (seriously, it’s small), to talk about something that so many people struggle with!

So today, I wanted to share some things that have helped me work through some of this anxiety.  Beware:  they are random and glorious at the same time.  And also, I just want to say, dealing with anxiety isn’t something that you can magically get great at over night.  I know I personally have a long way to go, but I feel in my heart of hearts that some of it has gotten better, which is why I want to share.  I was always on the search for “something”…for years, that I could relate to, or someone I could relate to, that would fill my brain with positivity, so basically I want to be a friend and let you in on what I’m doing.  Some of these may work for you, some may not.  We are all unique!  If these methods don’t work for you, keep trying to find your own!

Here are some things that have worked for me (in no specific order):

**Therapy:  I can’t say it enough.  YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE BROKEN (or feel broken) TO GO TO THERAPY!  It doesn’t mean you are weak, it doesn’t mean you don’t love Jesus enough to depend on prayer alone (trust me, I love me some Jesus and I pray all the time), it doesn’t mean you are a crazy person.  There are tons of benefits of talking with a therapist.  I really think everyone….that’s right, everyone, could benefit from seeing a therapist regularly.  Here’s the main thing you have to keep in mind while considering therapy:  you have to finding the right therapist for you.  In 2013 when I was diagnosed with OCD, I didn’t see a therapist until 2015.  I had no idea how to find one or what to look for.  All I wanted was someone close to my house or my work, and an actual psychologist, not a counselor.  I had no idea what to expect, and let’s just say, I hated it. I felt like nothing was getting any better and I was paying this lady 130.00 a week to sit and talk about things that weren’t even useful tools to overcome my anxiety.  I stopped going after 7 or 8 months and was completely turned off by the idea of a therapist because I had such a negative experience.  It wasn’t that the therapist I went to was bad at her job, she just wasn’t a good fit for me.

This past (late) winter when I was diagnosed with panic disorder, I knew I had to start my search all over again for a therapist. It took 3 months to narrow options down and get suggestions and recommendations from others, but I hit the jackpot!  I finally found a therapist that was able to target the issue, hit the ground running really hard and actually give me tangible skills that helped me overcome some of the anxiety battles I was facing.  When I started seeing her, I was going twice a week, and am now going once a week, and feeling like there are some weeks I may skip as I continue to progress.  It literally just feels like the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders when you go to talk to someone who can give you helpful tools to achieve your end goal.

**Medication:  Everyone says this is such a touchy subject, but honestly….why?  If you have a sinus infection, you take an antibiotic to get better right?  So, what’s the difference between that, and having severe anxiety and needing medicine to help regulate some of the levels in your brain that cause the anxiety?  There is no difference.  What helped me the most was getting a genetic test done, that showed what medications would work the best for me, based on my cellular make up.  There are a blue million anxiety medications out there and I think I’ve tried 7 or 8 of them over the past 16 years, but after having the genetic test done, my doctor was able to narrow the playing field a bit and switch up my medicine to something my body would respond to better.  In my case, the test showed I had a receptor block on all SSRI’s, which make up about 70% of all anxiety medicines.  Which, also explains why I showed no improvement with some of the medicines I had been on in the past.  I also had a test done at my hormone replacement doctor’s office that would measure my levels of dopamine, serotonin and nor-epinephrine.  As my doctor suspected, I had extremely high levels of nor-epinephrine, which meant my body was constantly in fight or flight mode.   So, to those out there that say “oh you can heal anxiety naturally, you dont need medicine.”  Cool.  But I DO.  I can’t just use lavender essential oil or some combo of anti stress oils (side note: I love my oils…thieves oil is used every night on our kiddos) or CBD oil, or some natural anxiety supplement and have it all magically go away.  My brain actually produces too much nor-epinephrine and not ENOUGH of the chemical (excuse my lack of medical terminology) that calms my brain down.  So I do take the medicine, and it does help.  But, you should also know that you cannot rely on medicine alone.  To TRULY OVERCOME anxiety, and by overcome, I mean learn which tools help you battle through it, you have to do more than just rely on a pill.

**Meditation and Mindfulness:  Meditation is something that completely took me by surprise.  My therapist suggested it when I first started seeing her, as a way to practice slow breathing and to try and calm my thoughts.  I thought “oh great, how the heck am I going to navigate this one.”  I looked on You Tube and watched a few and wasn’t really impressed.  For whatever reason (because I usually don’t turn to the good ol’ iTunes app store), I found 2 apps that looked like they would be promising.  On the way home from North Carolina this summer, we were at a rest area in West Virginia and I started listening to the free meditations on the Calm app.  I kinda toyed around with it for a few days, trying to start this meditation habit and finding which ones I liked and which ones worked.  There’s a lot to choose from, and honestly, I ended up purchasing the full expanded version of the Calm app.  Meditation was CRUCIAL for me the first 2 months in my journey of battling panic disorder.  Every morning, I would do a quick 10 minute meditation.  I get it now, there’s a reason why people think meditation is all the rage.  You guys, it feels like you are wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, sitting by a place you love the most, thinking CLEAR thoughts.  Meditation puts you in a state of mindfulness.  You are sitting in the here and now and it just feels so great.  No worries, just what’s around you at the time.  It just feels good to start your day with such a positive vibe.  On harder days, I would also do them at lunch.  Just a quick 10 minutes on my lunch break….to reset.  For those of you that don’t know much about meditation, there are meditations for literally everything; self esteem, mindful eating, relationships, health issues, kids, creativity, dreams etc.  You can even fall asleep to nightly meditations.  My psychiatrist was pumped when I told him I was trying to meditate and figure it out.  He and my therapist both kept telling me I had to “get good at it” before I noticed the benefits and had the tools in my pocket.  It’s true.  I did this almost every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, for maybe 3 months and I felt like I was finally getting the hang of it about a month into the practice.  Mindfulness is a key tool in overcoming anxiety and meditation can get you there.  Try it!

**Books that helped me:

~~The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety by Alexander L Chapman, PHD.  My therapist suggested I order this on Amazon before I even began my first session with her.  It “teaches” mindfulness and relaxation techniques.

~~Dare by Barry McDonagh.  I haven’t finished this one yet, but the first 5 chapters introduce the method.  It’s pretty awesome!  It’s a great resource to have handy!

~~Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis.  Yes, it’s a self help/motivational book.  But hear me out, this book led me down a rabbit hole I am so glad I fell down.  Everyone around me was raving about this book.  How great it was, how motivational it was.  The truth is, I don’t have a ton of time to read and I was focused on doing “all the things” to try and get myself out of the panic disorder cycle my body was in.  I ordered the book on Amazon mainly because everyone else did.  Peer pressure haha, jk.  After reading the first couple chapters, I was thinking “man, this chick is pretty cool, I feel like I need to know more, because there are some eerie similarities here; maybe I should check out the podcast everyone ALSO keeps raving about.”  That’s when it happened.  I found Rachel’s podcast (her podcast is titled Rise, btw) on how she handled her debilitating anxiety.  It was all over after that.  Everyone finds a message that speaks to them….that podcast was LIFE CHANGING for me.  Every word out of her mouth, I was nodding my head “yes, that’s me, uh huh, yep, so true, holy cow that happened to her too?!?”  I could have cried after listening to this.  FINALLY, there was someone I could relate to, someone my age, that wanted “all the things” and knew they were made for more, but had to overcome this freaking mess called anxiety.  FINALLY.  Someone who powered through and made the best freaking lemonade life could make out of crappy lemons.  Then I started listening to Dave and Rachel’s daily live streams.  If you don’t watch them, you should.  These live streams replaced the morning meditation for me.  They are typically 20-30 minutes and inspirational as a motha.  So the moral to this story:  for me personally, the best thing I have done for myself in this anxiety relief journey, along with my kick ass therapist, was finding the wonderful Rachel Hollis.

The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins.  Ok, I can’t comment too much on this since I’m only on page 30, haha.  BUT, if you purchase the book, it comes with a free 31 day mentoring session.  Pretty cool huh!  Mel has battled her crippling anxiety by using her method (5, 4, 3, 2, 1) and fought lots of other battles using the same concept.  I can’t wait to dive in and read the rest of this book.  Also, she does a coffee chat in the mornings that always are about an interesting topic.  These are usually at 9:30 am, so I have to watch them on my lunch hour, or after work.

**Moving Your Body:  It’s true.  Get up.  Move your body.  Walk, do jumping jacks, wall sits, push ups, shake your arms and hands, stretch.  Moving your body makes your brain think about something else.  If you are home, go for a walk outside while blaring some rap or alternative music, get on the treadmill, run up and down some stairs or lift weights!  If you are at work, get up and stretch while taking deep breaths, walk/pace your office or the hallway for a minute or two, do 10 lunges or just shake your body from head to toe for 30 seconds.  Anything that requires a different movement than the normal routine is going to lead your brain down a different path, and some of the anxiety should dissipate.

**Miscellaneous Tools: Find music that brings back amazing memories and listen to it in times of stress or panic.  Journal your struggles and the steps you took to help conquer them.  Journal 5-10 things you are grateful for, because, as my therapist has told me since day one…a grateful soul cannot be both anxious and grateful at the same time.  Pray.  Get your hormones tested and if need be, be open to taking non synthetic hormones to help gain some balance in your body.  Call or text old friends and reconnect with them over coffee or wine.  Find an online community that may be struggling with what you struggle with and look through their suggestions or go do something special for someone.

These are some of the things that have helped me.  Some of these things may work for you, some of them may not.  But, I thought it was important to share the combination of things that worked for me.  Like I mentioned above, just taking medicine, or just meditation is not going to “cure” severe anxiety.  You have to find a combination of things that work for you, and use all of those tools together, to power through.  You know the saying “it takes a village”?  Imagine a village with 30 houses, and each house is a different tool.  You are in control of the tools you use, but it takes the entire village, not just one house.  As I learn and evolve more into my journey, I’m sure my village will get bigger and that’s the hope!

I hope this helps some of you, or leads you in a direction of what different options are available out there to try.  And also, when I say try, I mean really try.  Give them a solid 2-4 weeks to work and for you to master the skill.   Powering through the traffic jam of anxiety is not easy.  If it were easy, no one would have anxiety.  Be patient with yourself and accept that you need a change of habit to change the way you think and to acquire the skills you may need to help you through your own journey.

Xoxoxo

Mary

Loves Lately

Hello lovelies!

I’m coming to you today from my semi-completed office.  I say semi complete because I probably should put up some kind of curtain or blind so the creepy peeps don’t slooooowly drive by the window anymore when I’m on the treadmill at night.  I literally hate curtains so much (I recently took down the ones in my living room and have been on a search for something that’s decently tolerable…and by that, I mean a valance of some kind that’s coastal without being floral)

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Anyways, happy spring everyone!  It doesn’t really FEEL like spring in Indiana, but whatevs…at least I know we are over the hump that is stupid winter.  I wanted to share some of my everyday faves with you all!  I’m going to blow right past the fact that I haven’t posted since last June and just try to immediately do better.  I think the reason I suck at keeping up with this is because I want to keep this blog really pretty and let’s face it…to keep it really pretty you need to hire someone that knows what they are doing, to make your blog designs and pages.  Oh and I don’t have a DSLR camera, so that’s also an issue.  But, for now, I’ll work with what I have….

FAVES:

So lately I’ve been using and loving these AWESOME products!!!  These are products I use 3-5 times a week, and some I use every single day.  I wouldn’t steer you wrong…these products give RESULTS you can actually SEE!

Product 1:  Thieves oil by Young Living

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I use Thieves every night with some coconut oil on both our boys’ feet.  Supposedly it helps boost immunity and fights off the germs.  With my OCD, Thieves just kind of brings a calm feeling to me, knowing I’m helping to boost my kids’ immunity and ward off any of the bad germs they probably pick up at the petri dish we call school.  Young Living actually carries an entire line of Thieves products now, because of the popularity of this magical oil.  I also use the Thieves spray as well at my office.  Bonus: it smells like cinnamon and everyone compliments the smell of my office.  Where to get it: if you are interested, please email me HERE and I can get you a discount!

Product 2: Urban Decay’s Shadow Box

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I’m so weird about eye shadow!  I love certain brands, and Urban Decay is certainly one of them.  I love this box because it’s not huge and the colors are so fun!  My favorite colors to wear are Baked Cowboy and Smog and I love highlighting with Bordello.  Where to get: Sephora or Ulta.

Product 3: Rodan and Fields Lash Boost

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You know how there are all these products that “claim” to do certain things and never do?  Or, my personal least favorite saying ever “could promote” or “studies show this product COULD”….you get the idea.  So anytime I try something that makes claims to move mountains, I’m a skeptic.  Enter Lash Boost by Rodan and Fields.  Game changer.

I’m not kidding when I say I saw actual results in 5 days.  Typically, they say you will see a big result after the first 4 weeks, then a bigger result at 8 weeks and the max result at 16 weeks.  This magic clear serum that you put on your lash line at bedtime must be laced with Miracle Grow.  I cannot stress it enough…if you ever want to use a product that actually produces REAL RESULTS, go get you some Lash Boost.  Don’t spend the money on lash extensions or continue buying the false lashes to glue in….get Lash Boost.  Where to get it: Product Link or send me an email HERE and I’ll give you my discount!!

Bonus: each tube is a 60 day supply, but my tubes last about 90 days because after the first 4 weeks, I use it every other day. 🙂

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Product 4&5: Rodan and Fields Sunless Tanner + Microdermabraison Paste

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You guys….I’ve tried a loooooooooooot of self tanners.  I’ve tried the cheapest and the most expensive, the organic and the not so organic and just about everything in between.  I fell in love with Rodan and Fields Sunless Tanner ….and as if I didn’t think anything could make it work even better, I started using it with the Rodan and Fields Microdermabraison paste.  They are like the best dynamic duo ever.  The micro paste makes skin so freaking soft, I can’t even explain it!  It seems like in the winter time, everyone is so covered up and I never think to use sunless tanner.  But, now that spring is here, I have been using it 3 times a week and I love it so much!  No streaks, no patches, no “orange” look.  Silky smooth color that melts right into your skin seamlessly.  1 bottle will last you several months and there is even a 60 day empty bottle money back guarantee on all the products sold by Rodan and Fields.  (Applause, ladies!)  Where to buy: Email me HERE and I’ll give you my discount!

Product 6: Make Up Forever Ultra HD Foundation

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I haven’t ever been a huge foundation wearing kind of girl….and looking back on pictures now, maybe I should have worn it more, but to me, it always felt heavy and gross and most of them that I had used would break me out.  Granted, that was in high school and I went to the Clinique counter and the lady swore she was giving me the oil free foundation.  I’m sure it was a fantastic product for some, but I hated it.  About 2 years ago I started hunting for a foundation that would feel so lightweight that I didn’t even realize I had anything on, plus even out my skin tone.  I found it with Make Up Forever’s HD foundation.  I love it.  It’s sheer, but covers evenly and I only use a dime size portion.  If you go to Sephora, they have a tool now that will help match your skin to the perfect shade of foundation (that’s winning people).  Oh, and this is kind of pricey for makeup, it will run you about $48 for a bottle, BUT know that it will last a long time since you have to use so little product.  Where to buy: Sephora

 

Alright, so there you have it!  Those are my current tried and true favorites!  Please feel free to comment on this post with some of your favorites!!

Happy Spring!!!

 

 

 

Inspiring Others, Everyday

Over the weekend while I was scrolling through social media, specifically Facebook, I noticed that probably 30-40% of my timeline posts were network marketing related; anything from monthly specials, to hostess gifts, to team building activities or even retreats. I know it can seem, to some, especially those who are not a part of a network marketing company, like they are “bombarded” with these opportunities everyday. For me, however, seeing so many of these network marketing companies’ missions come through social media channels like Facebook, makes me extremely happy and very hopeful and inspired.

You see, network marketing is not a pyramid “scheme”. Literally, it hurts to even use that word in this blog post. Rather, it’s a chance to be your own business owner and its HARD work to run. Hard work, skill, dedication and devotion. Contrary to what some think, it’s definitely not a get rich quick type of business. Sure, the opportunity is there to make money, but the big dollars come from countless hours, days, weeks, months and years of hard work and 150% dedication. There are also incentives, promotions and bonuses that are given from some companies as a pat on the back to the top performers.

It’s no different than an 8-5 job. Managers are paid more because they have people they are responsible for, only in network marketing, managers are called directors, or executives, or diamonds. The big picture is that it’s the same concept and whether you choose network marketing, an 8-5 or both, it’s hard work, loyalty and making connections that allow you to advance.

I’ve heard several people say that even the Wall Street Journal sings the praises of the business model for network marketing. Why wouldn’t you want to be your own boss and own your own time? It’s not the story of the Tupperware lady or Avon lady selling to her stay at home mom friends anymore. That is such a thing of the past. It’s much bigger now. More profitable. Business women and men are working full time in network marketing now, selling high quality products to consumers around the country and consumers are experiencing great results.

Want more proof? Check out this interesting article from Forbes Magazine about network marketing and retirement. http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertlaura/2014/08/29/would-you-join-a-multi-level-marketing-company-for-retirement-income/

I have had a few experiences with network marketing. First, I’m going to tell you what not to do. About 10 years ago, I decided I wanted to make some extra money, so I joined Pampered Chef. Why did I chose Pampered Chef? Well, because the market was not saturated with PC consultants and I thought that was a smart move. Well, silly me because it’s no secret the kitchen is not my favorite room in the house. Alright, that’s 100% true these days, but it’s not on my top 10 list. While I loved the recipes and the kitchen tools, I felt like I couldn’t really be a good salesperson for a product that I didn’t use enough of myself. Plus, their recipes are not for the calorie conscious, if you know what I mean… I made some money from it and that was great, but I let it fizzle out. While I thought I was being smart by choosing a company that was not over saturated, it really was not smart to choose a company that was not the best fit for my personal goals, or to think I would make a significant amount of money every month without being 100%
committed.

Then in 2011, I decided to take the network marketing leap again with Thirty One and you can read about my journey here.

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And just this past September, Young Living Essential Oils fell into my lap. I wasn’t planning on selling these. I had heard such wonderful buzz on these oils and all of my readers know I’m one that tries to treat things the natural way before OTC meds. Brayden was starting kindergarten and being the germ freak that I am, it was not a shock I was interested in thieves oil. I was also interested in the home diffuser to diffuse thieves everyday when I got home from work, to help boost immunity. It was much more cost effective for me to purchase the Premium Starter Kit that came with thieves (plus 10 additional popular multi-use oils) and the home diffuser. After I got my kit and started experimenting (on myself of course, not our kids), I found out that the oils were the real deal. Literally and figuratively. I couldn’t believe the success I had by using them! Friends saw this and joined. I now have a team of 9.
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Now I go to online classes and read tons of research articles about these little gems, to learn more about how to use them for my family, and let’s be real mommies…..you know when you tell your pediatrician that you use them and the pediatrician doesn’t shame you for not using traditional OTC meds, that you must be doing something they approve of. And another bonus—a lot of these oils can be used on your pets. I told our vet recently that I was putting a couple blends on our dogs to help calm them down and they said it was a good idea and wouldn’t hurt them. I love being able to use and sell a product that I believe in 100%, and that “fits” my interests.
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Another aspect of network marketing that is enjoyable is the fellowship with other consultants. Most companies meet once a month or once a quarter to have a pep rally of sorts and discuss sales tactics and what is on the horizon for their business. You are in a room with 20-100+ other people just like yourself, working towards a big goal, sharing the same interests. You meet so many wonderful people and share wonderful stories. The meetings I have been to have been so enlightening and everyone seems to be there to support each other.

My point to this post is this; network marketing is a wonderful opportunity, and business model. The possibilities are endless as long as you are willing to put in the work. I’m a firm believer that we can all be better than we are, and that there is a big world out there that we can all help change.
I want to point out that I work for Young Living and Thirty One only part time. I’m not a director or executive, but I see people who are every day. I know and feel the work they put into their business. It’s not overnight success. It takes perseverance and patience and willingness to never give up. I have a few Facebook friends that are committed to their companies beyond measure and you know what? They are finding that it’s paying off……BIG. You know how they are doing it? By using social media to post their successes, their client’s successes, inspirational quotes, product specials and goals. Additionally, they turn themselves into walking billboards, finding every opportunity to talk with new clients. Breakfasts/Lunches/Dinners out, play dates with their friends and kids, treadmill time at the gym, school functions, college classes, Starbucks drive thru’s and even by going to get their weekly spray tan. They are fearless and determined and because of that, they will succeed. This inspires me.

To all those in network marketing reaching the greatness of your dreams and highest goals, I respect you and am grateful for the leadership you show. Those of us in this industry in any capacity know what it takes. I aspire to be one of those who reach their goals. Just know you are all inspirations!

So the next time you feel like your social media feeds are packed full of these products, offers and promotions; think about what that wrap, anti aging cream, P90X DVD, personalized tote, necklace or oil really means to those who are succeeding everyday in this billion dollar industry. Billion, yes, with a B.

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