My Christmas wish to you is simple. Love Jesus, Love family, Love yourself and love to love.
Christmas was hands down my most favorite holiday growing up. Gifts played a part in that of course, but I really, honestly, believed in the magic of the season. My brother and I would put up lights around our bedroom ceilings and windows, we would decorate trees for our rooms, we would sing Christmas songs together, go to Church programs, help my mom bake her famous sugar cookies and sit and listen for reindeer hooves on the roof on Christmas Eve. We were in the moment and loving every second of the season.
When Brayden came along, I tried my hardest to make sure he had some Christmas tradition in his life and I worked so hard to make Christmas the most wonderful time of the year for him. I wanted him to feel how my brother and I felt every Christmas.
Somewhere a long the way it got really hard to even accomplish the basics.
The other night I was having (dramatic girl voice) “the worst day ever”. I cried and it’s like a faucet turned on and I couldn’t stop crying. I was to the point of never using Instagram again. I couldn’t handle seeing ONE MORE PICTURE of families at Yuletide, Christmas at the Zoo, downtown, baking together or basically any Christmas related task. I was so stressed about getting wrapping done, all my shopping done, getting the playroom cleaned up and ready for the next round of toys to come home from Christmas gatherings and only a billion other things. This was after working about 45 hours last week and a few nights getting home when Mason was already asleep, which basically rips my heart into pieces and feels like the pieces are being stomped on.
I don’t have time to bake or have Christmas craft time with my kids; I barely see them during the week! And scratch any type of baking in general because I haven’t had a few extra hours to do it—even on the weekends. I will say that the intention was there though, which is why I have 4 bags of mini chocolate chips in my baking cabinet and 2 bags of coconut and about 5 different types of flour. I tried to have a family night one night a couple weekends ago and drive downtown to see the circle and tree, and Brayden complained after about 10 minutes because all he wanted to do was get to Target to get a toy. We did get to make a very quick trip to see Santa last Friday though, we saw Santa, grabbed take out and headed home since the boys were both hungry. Brayden didn’t want to watch a Christmas movie, so Brock and I sucked it up and bought Minions for him. I feel like a terrible parent this time of year because on a normal day, I’m basically just trying to keep my head above water. Throw in the fun activities and tasks that Christmas brings and I’m spent.
When did this happen? When did normal every day things come between the joy I used to always feel at Christmas? The even bigger question is….what do you do to fix it? I have to have a job, our kids have to go to school, homework doesn’t stop, evenings don’t get longer, houses don’t clean themselves….
I mean, there are some really crappy things happening around the world right now. I think a lot of people wonder if it will ever get better or become a kinder place to live. It makes me very thankful for what God has given to us.
Here’s what I do know, even with all the crazy I listed above, as with anything in life, it just takes one person to take the lead. Start leading by example, start making kindness contagious. Good ol fashioned pure kindness and genuine love. One by one, and after a while it will make a difference. Love to love. Tell your kids you love them often, your spouse, your parents, and friends….mood boosters like that are passed on when you make someone else’s day.
Love Jesus. After all, Christmas is the celebration of His birth. A few days ago, when I was having my “worst day ever”, the only thing I knew to do was get my Bible. Only, I couldn’t find it. So, I ended up with Brayden’s Bible, reading chapter after chapter. The more I read, the more I could feel my insides unwinding and my mind calming down. I prayed for Him to lead me down the right path and for my family and I to never forget the reason for the season of giving and to always be thankful for what we have.
Love yourself. You know what they say? You have to love yourself before you can love others. Make good decisions, get your health on track, do something nice for someone else, pay it forward, have more friends nights, have more date nights. I’m personally taking my own advice on this one. Life gets complicated and extremely busy, but I need to plan ahead more. I will probably be just as busy next year, maybe busier, but there has to be a way to squeeze more time out of the day for family. My goal for 2016 is to schedule a date night more than 2 times a year, and around the holidays I will make a calendar of events I would like to take the kids to, so everyone knows in plenty of advance so we can all plan our schedules accordingly.
I wish you a wonderful, fantastic, super, stupendous, slap happy, amazing, joyous MERRY CHRISTMAS.
From my family to yours….. xoxoxo