I almost can’t remember life before kids because being a mommy brings me so much joy. God decided to give me 2 amazing little blessings with big, full hearts and personalities. For this, I am very appreciative and in our chats, I tell Him how thankful I am.
The thing is, life happens. We have gotten so accustomed to being way too busy every single day; and being a parent in this world means you are pretty much setting yourself up for failure and raging guilt before you even begin. Welcome to reality people! How does one fix this mentality? Well, I’m pretty sure the answer is that we can’t, and don’t really want to even if we could–given the fact we do it to ourselves. Do we expect too much out of ourselves as parents? I don’t know about you, but I know I do.
As most of you know I’m fairly new to this “second time mom” game. I look around and see all my friends and family members that have 2+ kids and they seem to have it together for the most part. I knew having a second child would have its challenges, just like any new adventure does, I knew I was signing myself up for sleepless nights, spending $175.00 a month in formula, changing diapers and watching endless episodes of Baby Einstein videos (I secretly cannot wait to start watching these again) just to name a few things. Here’s the thing—and it’s no surprise of course, but it’s HARD! To the people who told me that having two kids is easier–well, I’m pretty sure you were lying or maybe your brain just blocked out the early days, you know…kind of like labor pains and giving birth. Not that I make life changing decisions based on my friends’ opinions (love you guys!!). Having 2 kids was in the plans all along, but it’s fun to hear what my “veteran mommy friends” have to say. They’ve been there, done that…. Anyways, I think you get the point.
Enter social media. I love social media as much as the next mom. I use Facebook, post pictures to instagram, tweet and pin, So, in my mind (obviously) and probably in a lot of other mommies minds, life “would/should” be just like one perfect, pinterest idea-like picture. Us mommies should wake up every morning, put on a very cute outfit from our favorite boutique, make perfect chocolate chip pancakes in the kids’ favorite shapes, made out of all organic products of course. We should feed our kiddos on their matching seasonal Pottery Barn Kids dinnerware. Our kids should wear rustic, coordinated, personalized clothing from Etsy, with the newest style of Toms or Uggs. We would have perfectly clean, organized homes–and the accents like curtains, rugs, picture frames and holiday décor would of course be hand made. Oh, and even the animals would be perfectly groomed and trained.
Weekends would be spent going out to breakfast at local spots, trying new restaurants for dinner, taking pictures with a professional DSLR camera at local parks and community festivals and backyard BBQ’s would be in a perfectly manicured back yard. Oh, and let’s not forget about making fun dinners that are organic and low fat every night –that you copied from your favorite cutesy, perfect looking blog online.
Evenings would be spent getting the kids ready for bed, reading to them, then having adult time drinking a glass of wine after a workout (because you have to keep a svelte figure to make those boutique clothes look the way they should–right?) and downloading the 800 pictures you took over the weekend, because you want to be ready for the next Groupon that features a 16×20 canvas that you know would look fab next to the 5 you already purchased.
Should we talk about Holidays? Christmas? I think it’s some kind of rule that if you have 2 or more kids, you have to get them matching outfits. I think it’s also a rule you must bake with your little one and capture every moment on film.
These things….this what I feel like I need to do, in some capacity, everyday.
These are things that go through my head on a daily basis! I know I’m not the only one who thinks about them either, because if I were, the aforementioned things wouldn’t exist.
You all know how the day really goes.
There is SO.MUCH.PRESSURE and so many options available to moms now, and the pressure just escalates with each kiddo. Just when you think you have a great balance of “picture perfect” and reality with one kiddo–you have to figure it out all over again, and the challenge becomes figuring out how you have to spread your time between two. At 3 months into the second time mommy thing, I can say with confidence that it is getting easier to balance time between the kids. They love being around each other so much, and Brayden is such a big helper (professional pacifier retriever and diaper fetcher are among many tasks he excels at) to me that it makes my job just a smidge easier.
I feel like I should be -0 pounds on any given day, as much as I’m running up and down stairs (laundry), forgetting to eat (chores, organizing, filing)–and at this point I’m sure I could make an Olympic sport out of washing and sterilizing bottles and pacifiers. Of course the pressure gets to me, but you know what? I’m the one who puts pressure on myself! I’m the one who scours the internet sites looking for all the cute matching outfits, shoes, recipes, dinnerware and weekend ideas. And you know what? When I finally am able to accomplish just one of those things, I actually feel relaxed. It’s crazy, I know. I’m constantly busting my behind, with the thought “they are only little once” going through my head. I have tried to forget about the cute monogrammed outfits–really, I have. I have tried to say I don’t need a $1000 camera, but it’s still on my Christmas list. I have said I would stick to the basics when making dinner because I hate to cook, but I still have 5 gazillion cookbooks that promise time saving, clean, organic, kid friendly recipes; and please don’t even get me started on how many weight loss cookbooks and inspiration books that are collecting dust in my office and the pedometer that I found in my Thirty One bag this weekend that was $50 that I just HAD to have a few years ago. I’m not kidding when I say I had to wipe the dust off it. Who thinks she can do it all and only gets disappointed? That would be me…. Who thinks they know they should stress less and that it would be ok to not get wrapped up in everything at one time? Me again. However, I don’t seem to be following my own practical advice.
The thing is, the kids don’t care if their toys are organized in coordinating utility bins and my 5 year old may even be angry with me for getting him a monogrammed shirt from Etsy when his best friends are sporting their Ninja Turtle shirts. Our 3 month old doesn’t care if he has the best glass bottles or if he has matching Chicago Bears clothes to wear on football Sunday.
Parenting is a daily learning experience. We perfect our ways of parenting by trial and error, taking other people’s advice or even mimicking our own parents. I think we make it so much harder on ourselves. As I mentioned early on in this post, we have to know we make it harder on ourselves and since we know this, it should be an easy fix, buuuuuuuut–we want those things, we want to “have it all” so we continue to make our jobs as parents more difficult.
Ugh, what to do….what to do…. 🙂 What do you do? Do you have a certain way you fit everything in? Get everything accomplished? (I have to laugh because I have been working on this post for over 2 weeks–I rock at getting things accomplished hehe) How important is it to have all the “cutesy kid things”?